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I suppose it is a extension of the
"are they or aren't they" game we started playing shortly after we became
swingers. After realizing that we didn't seem like swingers, yet knowing we
were (we were there, after all), we began discussing various friends and
acquaintances. "Do you think Tom and Randi are?" It's natural. Then we would
size up strangers, looking for little clues. Sometimes, it seemed like
everyone was a swinger. This leads us to TV. Who is a swinger on TV? Who should be?
Gilligan's Island.
Who would be the real players? All three women for sure. The major cocksman would be either Gilligan or the Professor (Jayme votes for the professor, whose khakis leave little to the imagination). Both of them play shy and innocent. It is their passive little game to get the women to be aggressive. I can see the three women, Gilligan, and the Professor using Gilligan's bunk like a sex swing. The skipper stays below trying to sleep, swiping his hat at whoever's ass is pushing the top bunk toward his belly. Why doesn't the skipper participate? He is a sailor. He only likes whores. He dreams of paying Thai girls to lick his butt hole. Mr. Howell peers in the window while jacking off. He cleans the cum off his pants with a hundred dollar bill. The big reunion episode would have them opening the island as a swing resort. All would have jobs there. The lagoon would be divided into nude and prude. The theme song on the advertisements for the new island?
Enough of that. Friends.
All of the characters try to cover up who they are. They are all liars. Phoebe is online right now as massagegirl69. Behind the scenes, she had sex with every cast member, including the guy at the coffee shop, Gunther. As a matter of fact, Gunther is her sometimes "partner" when she goes to swing clubs. He poses naked on his profile holding a Gator Aid bottle next to his member as a size comparison. Chandler's father isn't the only cross-dresser. Chandler also indulges in some panties or a corset from time to time. The odd thing is, it isn't his idea. Monica forces him to. Whip in hand, she calls the shots, often shackling him to a post near the picture window as a humiliation. Naked Guy across the street, take that! Joey, the wild sex guy, is really the only one on the show that isn't secretly into the scene. He likes them one at a time and only for one time. Reason? He is embarrassed by his small penis. Shocking but true. What about Ross? He tries to swing, but he isn't too successful. He gets some inquiries on his profile because he uses a picture of Rachel as his default (and then explains that he is recently single and hasn't taken it down). Women want to be with a guy who has slept with someone that hot, but he loses them because his online chat is full of puns related to his career as a paleontologist: "I've got a bone right now--it's 60 million years old. lol." King of Queens
But what if they would just go ahead and make history--be to the swinger
community what Will & Grace is to the gay community? Carrie strips for
all the guys when they are watching TV. Doug makes a snack while the
others bang away. He comes back from the kitchen, and Carrie yells at
him: "I Now I'm thinking about Seinfeld (Kramer's apartment), Petticoat
Junction, The Cosby Show, and I Love Lucy. I'll let you put those
images in your head. Speaking of your head, why don't you tell us what celebrities you think might be worth a call.
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