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Some of you are straight. So are some women. But just as there is a strong pressure in the lifestyle for women to be bi, or at least bi playful (socially bi?), there is an equally strong pressure for men not to be. Think about what is listed as "turn-offs" or whatever name they go by in most swinger profiles: kids, scat, pain, bi men. Usually the last one is mentioned by both single men and couples with statements like "very straight," "not into man on man, "no male contact," or something like that. While it is a good thing to list things one is not interested in, and bisexuality may be one of them, it is still a little discomforting that it often finds itself mentioned by torture, pedophilia, and face shitting. The pressure is so great many bisexual men lie. We know a few that have either changed their profiles from bi to straight or have never listed their bisexuality. They say it is because it brings too much attention from bi or gay men. "When I had bi on my profile, all I got was men wanting to do me alone. Most couples wouldn't have anything to do with me," our friend D said. Even if a bisexual man says "can play straight or bi depending on couple," it turns a lot of people off. We found another strong proof of the bi prejudice at a small swinger house party we went to. The guys were cracking gay jokes and going out of their way to let everyone knew they didn't want a cock anywhere near them. So what?
Now, where do you put yourself out there online?
Start with the free clubs on Yahoo, MSN, etc. To create your profile, go to hotmail.com or yahoo.com
To find groups, go to groups.yahoo.com or groups.msn.com and search for “swing lifestyle,” “swapping,’ “swinging” and similar terms. Most states have several. They can be hard to find. Sometimes, finding a couple is the best way to find the rest. Join, look up members, chat with them, and look at their profiles to find out what groups they belong to. One leads to another. The problem? Most of them are dead-ends. Most are inactive, filled with spam. It takes a lot of work to keep one going, so this is understandable. Every so often, though, you’ll come across a good one. It is well worth it. If you post a message, explaining your wants, and then have a good profile to back it up, you may get lucky. You don’t have anything to lose, but a lot of time. Keeping up with them and checking all the profiles can be time consuming. Another good point, though, is that some of these clubs also plan real meets—get-togethers at local clubs so you can meet people face to face. PROS: · Free · Many are restricted to a certain locale or interest (can really narrow it down this way) · Sometimes arrange real meets · Lots of chat on IM can come of this, and most of the free IMs have great features. CONS: · Lots of fakes · Lots of spam · Lots of time involved Then check out other swinger boards. All have some free features, but require payment to get all of the features. Check them out for free to see which one or ones you like best, and then join. Pay. It is worth it. Having all of the features allows you to see more, show more, and accommodate others more. Many deals are broken because the person wants a paid member to share photos a different way or chat on a different service. It is right there, the couple says. They have uploaded pictures of themselves and put all the information there to save themselves time. If you aren’t a paid member, you may be asking someone to waste their time. Here are some of the good ones (there are countless others—these we know have real people using them): Swapper.net Adultfriendfinder.com Swinglifestyle.com We have tried all of these and use swinglifestyle.com exclusively. That is not to say that your preferences might lean another direction. Get on, see how many people there are in your area, check out some profiles, get used to what is there, and then make the decision. Pros: · All the features are in one place: chat, search, mail, video, information · Lots of real people looking for real meets · Can search usually by location and preferences Cons: · There will be a small fee ($10-15 per month with deep discounts for extended membership. · You will get addicted. You will want to quit your job and do this full time. You may not be able to resist the urge to log on while at work, meaning that you will be able to do it full time after you’ve been caught.
The Profile Here is the “customer’s” view: Take the time to explain yourself and your fantasies fully. Be literate. Check your spelling. Be honest. Include pictures. You don’t have to be perfect, nor do you have to have a wonderful “way with words.” Honesty (and a little humor) trumps all. This is what people will look at when making their decision about giving you a chance. Many people we know won’t chat with someone who has an incomplete profile or has no picture. That being said, do what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want to share everything with everyone, don’t. Leave a little mystery. Put the face pics in a private folder if you must, and share them with the people you get to know. I can’t stress the importance of a good profile. If you are using multiple sites, or something like yahoo and one of the swing boards, you can repeat the information. You only must be clever once. The following are fictitious profiles, based on what I’ve seen—good and bad: GOOD: I'm back and hope to continue some great relationships. Hey there, I'm a local student and am looking for an experienced couple that is interested in forming a discreet relationship. I am looking for a couple that enjoys sex as much as I do. I love all aspects of sex, and especially love to give oral and receive oral. Please only serious couples reply. Describe Yourself:
Tell us about your fantasies and/or
real experiences. I am looking for fit couples for fun romantic or erotic fun. I am looking for people that are easy going and have similar interests. I would prefer similar ages and body types. I know there has to be some attraction for this to be pleasurable for all. To chat or send pics use yahoo..forplay4fun4you§yahoo.com Describe Yourself:
Tell us about your fantasies and/or
real experiences.
BAD: STUDLYHOTCOCK Looking For: Hot ladies and couple for hot times. Must be very attractive as I am very attractive. Description: I am a very handsome and hot guy who is tan, fit, and well endowed. I am told I am a stud and that is because I have incredible stamina. I can stay hard (and big) for hours and hours. I am a very well educated professional who is quite a conversationalist. I will amaze you in and out of bed. Besides being all of these things I am also very polite and considerate. I can’t wait to make you howl like a dog. Fantasy: eight women sucking my cock and catering to my every whim.
Spell check
THE TOOL
THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FAKE
THINGS THAT WILL TURN OFF MOST PEOPLE Talking only about your hot self Asking to swing alone with the woman.
Writing,
Chatting, etc.
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