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You probably already have one or two or fifteen, but why not re-evaluate. Make it easy to remember. So many usernames, regardless of the groups, are taken, so you will have to be clever, persistent, and flexible. What is your greatest asset? OK, there are plenty of big dick names out there already. There are also plenty “lonelydivorcedguy” and such very sad names. That may be true, but it probably won't be effective. Most swingers aren't pity fuckers. Think marketing. Think about the woman. Get her thinking. I talked to a guy today called “yoda.” Couldn’t get the image out of my head. No deal there. Somewhere between too gentlemanly and too pornographic is the place to be. Memorable, yet middle of the road. Think of pleasing. What are your skills. I’m afraid I haven’t been of much help. All I can say is think easy (not gvji23509dk) and clever. Now, where do you put
yourself out there online? Start with the free clubs on Yahoo, MSN, etc, or even sites like MySpace and Xanga. Searching for the swinger clubs has become a little more difficult due to new rules, but once you find one, you'll find many. To find groups, go to groups.yahoo.com or groups.msn.com and search for “swing lifestyle,” “swapping,’ “swinging” and similar terms. Most states have several. They can be hard to find. Sometimes, finding a couple is the best way to find the rest. Join, look up members, chat with them, and look at their profiles to find out what groups they belong to. One leads to another. The problem? Most of them are dead-ends. Most are inactive and filled with spam. It takes a lot of work to keep one going, so this is understandable. Every so often, though, you’ll come across a good one. It is well worth it. If you post a message, explaining your wants, and then have a good profile to back it up, you may get lucky. You don’t have anything to lose, but a lot of time. Keeping up with them and checking all the profiles can be time consuming. Another good point, though, is that some of these clubs also plan real meets—get-togethers at local clubs so you can meet people face to face. Then check out other swinger boards, sites specializing in the adult lifestyle. All have some free features, but require payment to get all of the features. Check them out for free to see which one or ones you like best, and then join. Pay. It is worth it. Having all of the features allows you to see more, show more, and accommodate others more. Many deals are broken because the person wants a paid member to share photos a different way or chat on a different service. It is right there, the couple says. They have uploaded pictures of themselves and put all the information there to save themselves time. If you aren’t a paid member, you may be asking someone to waste their time. We have listed many good ones on our review page.
Making an alluring profile: Here is the “customer’s” view: Take the time to explain yourself and your fantasies fully. Be literate. Check your spelling. Be honest. Include pictures. You don’t have to be perfect, nor do you have to have a wonderful “way with words.” Honesty (and a little humor) trumps all. This is what people will look at when making their decision about giving you a chance. Many people we know won’t chat with someone who has an incomplete profile or has no picture. That being said, do what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want to share everything with everyone, don’t. Leave a little mystery. Put the face pics in a private folder if you must, and share them with the people you get to know. I can’t stress the importance of a good profile enough. If you are using multiple sites, or something like yahoo and one of the swing boards, you can repeat the information. You only must be clever once. The following are fictitious profiles, based on what I’ve seen—good and bad. Good: I am fit and active, with brown hair and eyes, clean shaven face and alternate between trimmed and shaven down below. I am very sexually experienced, give great oral, but D&D free. Intelligent, and very good natured, willing to try everything once. I like to consider myself a conversationalist, and am looking for both no strings attached sex, as well as hopefully a couple or female that is not only willing to play out any mutual fantasies, but also enjoy a quiet evening enjoying each other's company. I look for any relationship I am in to be a learning situation in all aspects, not just sexually. You can e-mail me for pics (I have lots of them), or just to chat. Bad: I am a very handsome and hot guy who is tan, fit, and well endowed. I am told I am a stud and that is because I have incredible stamina. I can stay hard (and big) for hours and hours. I am a very well educated professional who is quite a conversationalist. I will amaze you in and out of bed. Besides being all of these things I am also very polite and considerate. I can’t wait to make you howl like a dog. The first is playful and points out the good without seeming like a braggart. The second is so self-centered it seems he only needs a mirror. Good: I love the idea of being watched, and doing things I have never done before. I am very secure in my sexuality I love to exchange nude pictures, and have sex in places where I could be caught. However, I also love slow relaxing evenings, giving and receiving massages (I am a trained masseuse as well), taking showers with partners, and the simple feeling of skin on skin. Bad: What I really want is like eight women sucking my cock and catering to my every whim. The first is creative and specific. The second may be true, but it doesn't include other people. Self-serving fantasies are natural; posting them doesn't work. Good: I am looking for fit couples for fun romantic or erotic fun. I am looking for people that are easy going and have similar interests. I would prefer similar ages and body types. I know there has to be some attraction for this to be pleasurable for all Bad: Want Hot ladies and couples with Hot lady for hot times. Must be very attractive as I am very attractive. Stop talking about it. Let's do it! The first says the same thing as the second, just not in a pushy way. Rather than describing your great looks, post a picture and let them decide.
So you've got it all down. Do you sit and wait or go on the prowl? Sitting and waiting may be a bit too passive. Sending out a couple brief notes (after you have really read the people's profiles), mentioning your interest may help your odds. Compliment the people. Refer to something specific in their profile. Show interest without desperation (say if you'd like to chat sometime. . .). Things that will make you look like a Fake:
Things that will turn most people off:
It may seem like common sense. It is. Even if you do everything right, not everyone will be into you. Unfortunately, that's the way it is. Some will be, though. That's the great part. Hope to hear from you soon.
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